The Psychology of Stress a la Time Therapy

On the surface there are so many different reasons for stress:

Lack of structure, taking too much on board, conflict, confusion, lack of confidence, problems in communication, relationships, self criticism, feeling lack of control, grief, lack of money, lack of work....All these external factors however essentially trigger the same feeling in us and that feeling is - FEAR! .(False-Evidence-Appearing-Real). 

In Essence we stress out for these reasons:

• We perceive that we cannot handle something = Fear
• We perceive something as painful, difficult or dangerous = Fear

Stress in it's nature is the response to concepts of our mind. It is based on our Perception. This is why people's stress responds to the same event can vary greatly from person to person.

How can we become more Stress Free? The key to becoming more STRESS FREE is to find the true source.

And at a first glance we see that the source is FEAR.

And our reaction to fear for thousands of years has been: to Fight or to flight (Aggression or Withdraw).  If you look even further then you will see that the root of Psychological fear is always related to a feeling of disconnect, of not being able to relate to what is happening.

Look at the process of when you are stressed.

Lets say you are at work and you are stressed because you do not agree with the way your boss is handling a certain issue. You disagree. 

How do you feel towards your boss at that moment?

You cannot relate to what he is doing, how he is behaving.

You are against him, you feel separate from him. If you can look beyond the anger then you will see that, deep down, you are simply sad that you cannot relate to him and his actions, that you are unable to connect.

You will see the same pattern when you look at issues in other relationships, including the relationship you have to yourself or life.

Suppose things don’t work the way you want in life. You do not have enough work. You do not have a loving relationship. How do you feel?

You may feel angry or afraid, but deep down you feel SAD. 

You feel sad that life is treating you this way. You feel sad that things are not working out.

Now if this turns into self -pity then you have Depression.

Remember Stress is based on your Perception of something to be dangerous, painful or difficult. This Perception generates Fear. Reacting to the Fear leads to Aggression or the urge to Withdraw. On the other hand STAYING with the Fear by observing it without reacting to it will help you to become aware of the underlying Sadness. The Sadness of not being able to relate/connect. And this is the first step to Compassion.

Aggression – Fear – Sadness - Compassion (=Love)
 In Time Therapy we call it the ‘Feeling Chain’

Once you understand the process of the Feeling Chain and that this process is the same in every person regardless of background, education, or culture, then you are able to address the issue of stress with a new mindset.

Understanding the process of the Feeling Chain can set you FREE!

It’s like learning a new language. You need to learn about the structure, the grammar to truly understand and use it effectively. Just learning the words won’t do it – you need both. The same with Stress; You need to understand the structure, the root. Aggression –Fear – Sadness - Love.

Sounds strange? Just observe it in yourself and you will see the Chain at work.

Deepak Chopra: The Mystery of Consciousness

7 Movies and what they taught me about life and leadership

Movies can be an amazing source of insight and inspiration. They fill our hearts and heads with heroes, stories, songs, and scenes we can draw from. What stories, scenes or heroes have inspired you? Whatever traits you recognize in others also live in You.

Here are 7 movies and what they have taught Me about life and leadership.

1. Star Wars – Keep your ego in check (and carry a big light saber!) Your intuition can serve you well if you master it.

2. Raiders of the Lost Ark – Make every project an adventure.

3. The Lord of the Rings – The best heroes can come from the strangest places (who would have thought to check the Shire?)

4. Rear Window – Use your emotions and intuition as input, then check your facts.

5. The Wizard of Oz – You had it in you all along. You just needed somebody else to bring it out.

6. Slumdog Millionaire – Being Smart, Passionate and Persistant brings results and can change your lot in life.

7. It’s a Wonderful Life – Know your value and what you bring to the table.


Which movies have inspired YOU?

All Talk and No Action? – Turning decisions into commitments

All talk, no action? Good ideas, but no results? Not the results that you are wishing for? A common problem is a lack of clarity and action commitments.

I see a lot of decisions that never turn into results. I know people mean well, but making things happen takes more than just desire. It takes action. The challenge with turning decisions into action, is understanding the work required. If you don’t break your decisions down into effective actions don’t expect results.

How to best tackle these issues? Over the years I have identified a series of steps that have helped many of my coaching clients make the shift.

'Remember, a real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.' — Tony Robbins

Turning decisions into effective actions requires thoughtful work assignments and action commitments. Whatever you want to change, influence or achieve you will need to clearly identify:

a. The choices available to you
b. Recognize what can be done and what cannot
c. And most importantly commit to Action!

Whatever the issue, the key process is the same. To create a constructive environment for successful decision making make sure you start with the following:

1. Starting the Process:

• Establish the objective - Define what you want to achieve.
• Agree on the process - Know how the final decision will be made, including whether it will be an individual or a team-based decision.
• Make sure you're asking the right question – Spend time asking yourself what is the true issue

2. Generating Good Alternatives = Choices

This step is critical to making an effective decision. The more good options you consider, the more comprehensive your final decision will be.

• When you generate alternatives, you force yourself to dig deeper, and look at the problem from different angles.
• If you use the mindset ‘there must be other solutions out there,' you're more likely to make the best decision possible.
• If you don't have reasonable alternatives, then there's really not much of a decision to make!

3. Generating Ideas = What can be done and what cannot

Brainstorming is probably the most popular method of generating ideas. Ask colleagues, friends or partners to participate and provide input. Keep an open mind and explore all the possible choices and consequences. It helps to write everything down and then take a break if you can to reflect.

4. Choosing the Best Alternative

After you have evaluated the alternatives, the next step is to choose between them. The choice may be obvious. However, if it isn't, then identifying the root of the problem will help you. This strategy involves looking at any problem and asking: 'What is the cause of this problem?' and 'Am I part of the cause or the solution?'

5. Turn decisions into action commitments.

Actions speak louder than words. Knowing what to do is not the same as doing what you know.

• What action has to be taken and who has to take it?
• What does the action have to be so that the people who have to do it can do it? That also includes YOU.
• Get the right people for the actions required. The key is to have the right people doing the right things to get the right results.
• Support the action people. Know what actions need to be taken to be successful and support them.

Keep in mind that Decisions will Not be Effective Without Action Commitments. What looks good on paper or sounds good, may not work when you actually test it. If you see that it doesn’t work then look again.

Those are some of the key steps. And if you feel that a few coaching sessions would be helpful to master the process then send me an email at christiane@christianepohl.com. I would be happy to support and guide you.

With my best wishes for your success!

Buy a Tree, Clean a Beach....get involved

I am very passionate about bringing people together on initiatives to increase awareness for environmental issues and to act. Small acts, big acts, whatever each person can do to contribute.

Here are some of the initiatives I am promoting in case that you are interested to share the ideas in your company or your friends. I talk to companies and bug my friends about what can be done. One of my favorite initiative is the idea to:

Buy a tree!

With the purchase of a small tree, you automatically become a member of Plant-a-Tree. We will plant the tree on your behalf and once this has taken place you will receive an e-mail with the details of the planting (this includes details of action, geographic coordinates, photographs, etc).

Small tree €20

For reasons of economy and efficiency, our members' trees will be planted in groups, in accordance with the design of Plant-a-Tree.

To buy a tree, you can choose one of the payment methods that they advertise on their website http://www.plant-a-tree.gr...and while you are there you may get inspired by some of their other ideas.

I am also a member of Clean Up Greece www.cleanupgreece.org.gr. They are a branch of Clean up the World and are always interested on new sponsors and volunteers.

For 2011 they have produced a beautiful desk top calender. For euro 1000 your company can become a sponsor and received a few hundred calenders to give to clients with the company logo inside.

If you are interested in contributing and would like to know more contact me on christiane@christianepohl.com or if you live outside of Greece then check what your local environmental organizations are doing.

with my best wishes,

Christiane